Contributed by: Stephanie Steel
Valentine’s Day is a day dedicated to love, a time to acknowledge the good relationships of all kinds in our lives. Stores are stocked with displays full of hearts, flowers, and chocolates as early as New Year’s. Many people exchange valentines, share poems, and decorate with images of Cupid.
However, many people experience great stress, anxiety, and even depression as part of the holiday. There is significant pressure to have a significant other, as though the absence of a “Valentine” somehow diminishes a person’s worth.
So how can you help make someone’s Valentine’s Day a positive experience, regardless of age or relationship status? One excellent approach to improving relationships is to learn what Gary Chapman has labeled “Love Languages.” (For a more thorough description of these love languages and to assess your own, visit: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/)
According to Gary Chapman’s model of love languages, there are five primary ways in which people experience love:
– Words of affirmation
– Physical touch
– Quality time
– Receiving gifts
– Acts of service
Most people express love according to their own love language preference. If someone finds Words of Affirmation particularly meaningful, it is likely that they will share Words of Affirmation with you. The key is to learn to step beyond your own Love Language “comfort zone” and try to express support and appreciation in the way that is most meaningful to the recipient.
Do you know your own love language? Do you know your significant other’s love language? Do you know your child’s love language? Do you know your parent’s love language? Take some time this Valentine’s Day to express love in the way that is most meaningful to the people in your life.
Family conversation starters for Valentine’s Day:
– How do you know I love you?
– What do you do when you want me to know you love me?
– What do you think it means to be someone’s Valentine?
– What has made you feel most loved in your life so far?
– Describe your ideal Valentine’s Day.
– What is something fun you would like to do together?
– What makes someone a good friend? What makes someone a good partner?
– What is your favorite love song? (Take some time to listen/sing together!)
– When you are feeling lonely, what helps improve your mood?
– Is there someone you would like to be kinder toward? Why?
– What is your favorite love story/movie? What do you like about it?