What's Important to Girls and What Parents Can Do to Make a Difference
By Renee Spencer, LILSW

WHAT IS HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM IN GIRLS?

Self-esteem is a measure of how much we value ourselves, what we think of ourselves, and how much we like ourselves just the way we are. The characteristics we are born with do not, in and of themselves, lead to higher or lower levels of self-esteem. It is the value we place on these traits. Self-esteem is not inborn, it is learned. We learn self-esteem through the relationships we have with the important people in our lives.

Self-esteem, then, is derived for girls (and all people) from two sources: 1) How she views her performance in areas in which success is important to her, and 2) How she is perceived by significant others, such as parents, teachers and peers.

According to Peggy Orenstein, "Girls with healthy self-esteem have an appropriate sense of their potential, their competence and their innate value as individuals. They feel a sense of entitlement -- license to take up space in the world, a right to be heard, and to express the full spectrum of human emotions." (Orenstein, 1994, pxix)

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