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What's Important to Girls and What Parents Can Do to Make a Difference
By Renee Spencer, LILSW
THE LOSS OF CONFIDENCE
These studies and books all document a loss of confidence occurring for girls as
they move into adolescence. Some specifics:
Although all children experience confusion and a faltering sense of self at adolescence,
girls' self-regard drops further than boys' and never catches up. By high school, nearly
half of boys strongly agree with the statement, "I am happy with the way I am," compared
with less than 1/3 of girls. Boys are more likely to reject the assertion, "I wish I were
somebody else," and less likely to say, "Sometimes I don't like myself." (Orenstein, p.xvi)
Girls' self-esteem begins to drop at the edge of adolescence and continues to drop through college. Young men leave college feeling better about themselves than when they began, while young women leave feeling worse about themselves. (Sadker and Sadker, p. 159)
The number of girls who strongly agree with the statement: "I like most things about myself" drops 31 points between elementary and high school. It drops 21 points for boys, who started out higher in the first place. (Sadker and Sadker, p. 78)
The first drop occurs between the ages of 9 and 15. Girls lose confidence in themselves and in their abilities, especially in math and science. "Teenage girls are more vulnerable to feelings of depression and hopelessness and are four times more likely to attempt suicide."(Orenstein, p.xvi)
The most dramatic gender gap is centered in the area of competence.
Boys are more likely than girls to say that they are "pretty good at a lot of things" and are twice as likely to name their talents as the thing that they like most about themselves. Girls, meanwhile are twice as likely to cite an aspect of their physical appearance as what they like most about themselves. (Orenstein, p.xvi)
Teenage girls are more likely than boys to say that they are "not smart enough" or "not good enough" to achieve their dreams. (Orenstein, p. xvi)
Confidence in "the way I look" is the most important element of the self-worth of white, middle school girls. (Orenstein, p.94)
Passage into adolescence, for girls, is marked by a loss of confidence in herself and her abilities, especially in math and science. It is also marked by a scathingly critical attitude toward their bodies and a blossoming sense of personal inadequacy. (Orenstein, p. xvi)
We see a drop in girls' interest in math and science as they advance through school. Even
girls who like the subjects, are by age 15, only half as likely as boys to feel competent
in them. (Orenstein, p. xvii)
When boys have trouble with a math problem, they are more likely to think the problem is
hard, but stay with it. When girls have trouble, they think they are stupid and tend to give up. (Pipher, p. 63)
Generally, boys tend to attribute failure to external factors, and attribute success to
ability, thereby keeping their confidence even in the face of failure. With girls it is the opposite. Girls attribute their success to good luck or hard work, and failure to a lack of ability. Their confidence is eroded by every failure. (Pipher, p. 63)
Perceptions of a drop in confidence precede a real drop in performance. While girls enter
elementary school decidedly ahead, they leave high school significantly behind. On average, girls' SAT scores are 60 points below boys. College continues the decline. Girls' score 127 points on average, below boys on the GRE. (Sadker and Sadker, p. 138)
The brightest girls fare worst. In a landmark study of gifted men and women, researcher Lewis Terman found that in middle school, gifted boys' IQ's fell three points, while gifted girls' fell and eye-opening 13 points. (Sadker and Sadker, p. 59)
There are some interesting ethnic differences:
Far more African American girls retain their overall self-esteem during adolescence than
white or Latina girls. They are about twice as likely to be "happy with the way I am" than
girls of other groups, and report feeling "pretty good at a lot of things" at nearly the
rate of white boys. 48 percent of boys will say this is always true, compared with 47% of
black girls, 32% of white girls and 27% of Latina girls. (Orenstein, p, xvii)
The number of Latina girls, between ages of 9 and 15, who are "happy with the way I am"
plunges 38 percentage points, compared with a 33 percent drop for white girls and a 7% drop for black girls. (Orenstein, pp. xvii-xviii)
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