"To me when I remember middle school, all I remember are the backstabbing, the lies, the girls fighting with girls, the cliques," said Oropeza, 18. "I don't remember much else."

One girl still in middle school said that being humiliated by girls higher in the social hierarchy was a fact of middle school life. For girls, getting through middle school means navigating a battlefield of gossip, rumors, and teasing, as they strive to avoid the wrath of popular girls.

"They can be so mean," Brooke Notas, 14, told Good Morning America. "And they can come up to you and start yelling at you for no apparent reason."

A Survivor's Guide to Adolescence

All of this middle school pettiness may have been around for a long time, but the slights and cruelties typical of adolescent girls inspired Rosalind Wiseman's new, much-talked-about book Queen Bees and Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence.

Our culture values people who ascend the social pecking order, but there is a price to pay when it comes to adolescent girls, Wiseman said. She argues that adolescent cruelty can wreak havoc on a girl's self-esteem, and even her health.

"What goes on in schools can be very destructive," Wiseman said. "There can be serious consequences for girls who are rejected, who are left out, despised, isolated. They can suffer depression, eating disorders and they are very vulnerable."

Some girls use drugs, begin having sex at an early age, or get into abusive relationships to deal with the pressures of fitting in, or keeping up a certain image.

The Pursuit of Popularity

Lauren Hermes, 18, recalls her fierce pursuit of popularity at any price when she was in middle school.

I was a girl who wanted to be popular and I would step on anybody to be popular," Hermes recalled.

Gossip, lies, exclusion, rumors and downright meanness are the weapons middle school girls reach for. New research shows that in their own non-physical way, girls are just as aggressive as boys. And the word in the hallways is that it all rings true.

"I think a girl could really hurt you in the words they say, and guys can hurt you in the punches," said Tess Hermes, 14. "And you get a bruise, but like your bruise will heal. And sometimes emotions won't always heal."

The modern weapons of middle school girl battles include three-way calling in which one party stays secret as they goad another girl to gossip about her. Then, there are Web sites that trash girls who have been excluded from the in crowd, and instant messages to spread unstoppable rumors.

The Queen Bee's Domain

As educators have begun to pay attention to the phenomenon of nastiness among girls, programs have sprung up to try to squash it. One in Texas called GENaustin sends counselors into the schools to teach teens how to work out their conflicts with other girls.

Wiseman runs seminars in schools across the country in her attempt to counter what many think is an epidemic of adolescent cruelty. She begins y helping girls to know it's not "OK" for popular girls to e mean. In her book, the Queen Bee is defined as the popular girl who serves as the leader of the pack, frightens others into liking her, and holds power over both boys and girls.

"She can silence you with a look," Wiseman said. The Queen Bee s usually pretty-though not overly so. In wealthy communities, she's the girl who owns the most bracelets from Tiffany's. In poorer communities, she's more likely the one with the hippest new sneakers.

Together with whomever she chooses as her "Sidekick," the Queen Bee resides at the top of the social structure, and takes aim at anyone she perceives as a "target," Wiseman said. The girls she has spoken to seem to take to the idea of there being a pattern to their own social lives, haphazard as it may be.

"Like, the Queen Bee and the Sidekick, they pick a new target every day," said Alexandra Cohen, 11. "And if they don't react, then they're automatically out. They have no chance of getting into the group."

"It's kind of like being in the wilderness and like everything's against you," said Patricia Ceccarelli, 13. "Like you only have to watch your own back, there's nobody else who's going to watch it for you."

"You can't trust anybody," said Brittany Kelly, 12. "I mean, you never know what people are going to do."

"Yeah, it makes you think like everyone's living a lie," said Julia Shaw, 14.

Wiseman says that the Queen Bees are actually vulnerable themselves, because of their focus on maintaining their own social status. If her boyfriend abuses her, the queen bee might not break up with him, because a the status she gains from the relationship is part of her identity. Faced with so many high expectations, they often feel like they have somehow failed themselves.

Addressing the Queen

She encourages girls who are targets to write down whatever type of bullying the Queen Bee did to her in a journal, to sort of focus the complaint. Step two is to confront the girl at a time when she is alone.

If you confront the Queen Bee when she is with friends, the Queen Bee will likely begin posturing, but alone she will more likely cave, and leave the Target alone, Wiseman said. Standing up to bullies is a time-proven method of dealing with them, and it teaches girls an important lesson, she says.

What can parents do if their daughter is one of the Queen Bees, dishing it out to others?

Most parents are in denial that their children can be mean, but parents should reach out to their children and get them to stand up for what is right, Wiseman said. A parent's job is to hold their kids accountable when they do something mean, and to speak out when someone is being humiliated-including themselves.