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"Anyways, let's talk about sex."
Ellen Sanchez, M.Ed., Certified Sexuality Educator and SafePlace program coordinator
Talking about sex is not the same as it has always been between mothers and daughters.
Of course there is usually the awkwardness and uncertainty about what to say and how to
say it, but today's society presents sex as an issue for younger and younger girls, and
a casual issue at that. Ellen Sanchez, M.Ed., a Certified Sexuality Educator, spoke to
mothers Thursday, October 4, 2001 at Lamar Middle School on sexual issues facing girls
today, and how parents can work with their daughters, not against them, in making healthy
choices regarding sex.
"It's not that I don't trust her - I'm nervous."
Mother of a freshman girl in high school
All of the mothers at the event agreed that many times they trust their daughters completely,
but they are nervous about being "isolated" from them and not knowing or having any control
over the decisions made once they leave the house. Ellen says that parents really have
control over very few things once girls reach the pre-teen and teenager years, and that
parents should give their daughters "every tool" they can think of to help make smart
decisions. She emphasizes that honesty and trust are important to maintain open lines of
communication between mothers and daughters.
"What do they already know about sex?"
Mother of a freshman girl in high school
Today's culture has made sexual education more available to girls at a younger age.
Ellen believes that most girls know all of the "mechanics" about sex by the time they
are in the 9th grade. However she says what they don't know is the "feeling" part and
that is what they are "starving" for. Many girls rush into sex and do not even realize
that it should be a special bond between two people and not a way to only please someone
else or just to fit in. The most important thing Ellen emphasized is that sex is a very
individual matter and that "when it's the right time, you'll know it's the right time."
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