Ophelia's Voice

Issue 1

June 2001

Donna Van Fleet, Ophelia’s new board chairwoman, brings with her a career of leadership that will carry TOP forward to new levels of success. An internationally experienced high-tech executive, Donna's wisdom and candor make her a highly sought-after speaker about leadership and professional skills. Donna is particularly recognized for her work in developing young people, especially young women, for careers in science and technology through her many roles, including mentor, advisor, speaker and board director.

Donna is a proven leader in international business with almost 31 years in systems development with IBM, where she reached the vice president level in software development. In 1996 the editors of the McGraw-Hill companies selected her as one of Women in Computing's Top 100 in 1996. As reported in the June 16, 2000, Austin American- Statesman article "Getting Women Wired," Donna is actively engaged in developing women for careers in technology and science. She is a former presenter at Women in Technology International and Society of Women Engineers conferences and plenary speaker at the NexTech conference for top U.S. high school math and science students.

In addition to her leadership at Ophelia, Donna serves as a director on the board of the Girl Scouts Lone Star Council, a member of the board of the Austin chapter of Women In Technology International, and chairwoman of the Capital Area United Way's 2000 Leadership Giving campaign. She and her husband of 30 years, Jim, are the parents of a 19-year-old son, Jon, and are active supporters of community improvement.

Donna's goal as board chairwoman is to establish the higher levels of resources required to reach even more girls with Ophelia's outstanding programs. "My passion is developing young women for self-sufficient lives," she says. "I am thrilled to be given the opportunity to work with this group which has taken the lead to enlighten young girls and their supporters about ways to reinforce their self-worth."

If you haven't visited our website, please come visit us at www.ophelia.org. We have lots of information for girls and their parents, and a fantastic virtual mall to top it all off. The GreaterGood.com link gives you opportunities to shop with popular merchants who then donate a portion of all sales to Ophelia. Let us know what you think about our site by clicking on our "comments" link on the left navigation bar of any page. We want to know your opinion! If you’d like to become an Ophelia volunteer, please let us know of your interests and skills by contacting our office at 512/851-8100 or by email at [email protected].

*ASPIRING WRITERS WANTED

If you've always wanted to write for a newspaper, magazine, or Web site, here's your chance! If you're a girl between the ages of 13 and 18 and would like to have your writing published on Ophelia.org, just visit our site, click on "Girls Say..." and scroll down to the bottom of the page. Click on "E-mail the content manager" and type in your entry. We will let you know as soon as possible whether we will use your writing entry. "Girls Say..." articles can be about anything that's important to you as a teen-age girl. They can be in any form: essays, stories, poetry...it's up to you! Visit us soon at Ophelia.org.

Smelly T-shirts, sweaty palms, and old flames were all the subjects of discussion at Ophelia's annual Main Event and fundraiser on the evening of March 6 at Women and Their Work Gallery downtown.

Dr. Pat Love, an Austin resident and a nationally recognized couples therapist, spoke to about 200 listeners about love, relationships, and the role of body chemistry in matchmaking. Dr. Love is co-author of the perennially popular book "Hot Monogamy," and she has been featured several times on "Oprah" and "The Today Show." Her new book, "The Truth About Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever," is due out this summer.

Dr. Love emphasized that love and attraction are less about magical romance than they are about science. She said that it is possible to have "chemistry" with more than one person because women are attracted to men whose DNA is least like theirs. Every person’s DNA contains immunities to a certain number of diseases, and when two people have children together, their children inherit both parents’ immunities. Thus, from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense that women would instinctively seek out partners with whom they could have the healthiest children.

When you have chemistry with someone--when you just feel good when you’re with that person--you’ve met a DNA match.

"It’s really a numbers game," Dr. Love said. The more people you meet, the greater your chance of meeting more DNA matches. So if you’re always moving in the same circles of people, you might need to change something if you want to find a love relationship.

Most audience members seemed particularly entertained by the research that helped prove women are attracted to their DNA opposites. In one study, a group of men were asked to wear the same plain cotton T-shirt for several days while refraining from wearing cologne, eating spicy foods or doing anything that would interfere with their natural scent. A group of women were later asked to rank the T-shirts in terms of the most pleasant natural scents, and almost without exception the women picked as their top shirts those of the men with the DNA least resembling their own. Only women taking birth control pills have been shown to pick mates with similar DNA.

Of course, smelly T-shirts aside, there’s more than just DNA and chemistry in the making of a lasting relationship. Dr. Love said that chemistry is what attracts people to one another in the first place, but compatibility and similar goals are what keep people together after the initial infatuation has passed.

"Infatuation causes actual physical changes in the body, and it lasts about six months," she said. "After that, what’s important is whether the people have similar goals and interests, and whether they can be best friends and work on projects together."

In response to a question from the audience, she said that teen relationships and teen love are just as authentic as adult romantic feelings. So-called "puppy love," she said, is as real as love at any other stage in life-and to prove her point, she asked the adult members of the audience to think back on their own first loves. The only difference between puppy love and adult relationships is that it occurs when the couple is young and identities are still being formed, Dr. Love said. The challenge to a young couple is remaining compatible while both people are growing up and establishing their interests and priorities, which may or may not be possible.

Another exciting fundraising reception occurred on March 21 at the home of Ben and Melanie Barnes. Dr. Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia, the book that inspired our nonprofit, met an enthusiastic group of new Ophelia's supporters and spoke about life since the publication of her 1994 book. Since then she has written two more books, The Shelter of Each Other, about families, and Another Country, about aging. But the nationwide action for girls that Reviving Ophelia has inspired is very special to her, she said. Attendees at the Barnes’ home included former governor Ann Richards, attorney Sarah Weddington and Austin ISD Superintendent Pat Forgione. Everyone enjoyed getting to know the woman whose ideas are the basis for our work.

Ophelia would like to extend a special thanks to those who helped us make this event possible! We thank Ben and Melanie Barnes, Lynn and Tom Meredith, Sherry and Tommy Jacks, Martha E. Smiley, Kristi Ozmun, Word of Mouth Catering, Austin Wine Merchant and the West Austin News for everything they do for us.

A powerful message came through during the 90-minute "Hangin' Out: What Girls Want/What Boys Want" presentation at Cedar Valley Middle School on Oct. 10: Dating is not at all like television and movies portray it to be. Four Round Rock high school students participated in a panel discussion about girl/boy relationships and dating and presented their personal views to a crowd of 65 students and parents. Laura Osborne, SafePlace violence prevention and teen sexuality educator, moderated. Some comments:

• Boys want girls to be respectful of them, too. (example: Unlock the car door for the guy when he comes around to the driver's side after he's opened the door for you)
• Guys say it really annoys them when they take a girl out and she won't eat.
• All discussed how dating is portrayed so falsely through the media, like sex is just part of the evening.
• Good dates? Going to Denny's to eat and talk; watching cartoons.
• One girl talked about the pressure of having a girlfriend or boyfriend. She said schoolwork and family are just as important, if not more, than having a boyfriend; "Sometimes having boyfriends really drains you of your time and energy."
• They agreed that some kids act like they don't have power over their decisions to drink or have sex-and then the next thing you know, someone is pregnant, and they act like it "just happened."

Laura also talked about date rape drugs and the advantages of group dating. She told them all to trust their instincts about people. If a young adult or her best friends or parents have a bad gut reaction to someone, then there's a great possibility that dating that person is not a smart choice. She warned everyone about always keeping an eye on their drinks.

Leadership Austin, a prestigious training organization for movers and shakers in our community, has chosen Ophelia as one of five local nonprofits that will receive its help in program development in the coming months. Eight talented and committed volunteers from Leadership Austin’s 2000-2001 class have decided to construct a leadership program for girls.

"Those of us who chose to work with Ophelia believe that the middle school years are crucial to the development of confident, willing leaders, and that those years are particularly hard for girls," Leadership Austin member Lisa England said. "We wanted to help develop a program that would allow girls to be true to themselves and build on their innate strengths."

The volunteers are exploring several possibilities for the leadership program, including a summer leadership camp and a program that resembles the adult version of Leadership Austin, in which girls are recruited from the Austin area and meet once a month for a full day with experts on girl-focused topics. A third option is a leadership and education conference, in which the girls would interact with nationally recognized speakers and decision- makers responsible for policies and programs that affect youth. The goal of these activities would be for the girls and adult leaders to educate one another about the challenges and the opportunities ahead for young women.

The leadership program will inspire girls to effect change in their own communities long after the program is over. During the program the girls will form groups based on their common interests and design a community service project or activity they can work on after the structured program has concluded. They will leave with the understanding that they hold the power to create change, and that knowledge and empowerment are the first steps.

Lisa England and her fellow Leadership Austin class members have conducted focus groups with girls and counselors in the community to design the best possible program. Stay tuned to learn more about this new Ophelia opportunity.

Add intrigue and discovery to your summer with these programs from Girlstart, Austin’s nonprofit that helps girls explore their interests in science and technology. Girlstart is famous--in the past few months they’ve been featured in CosmoGirl, Southern Living, and Oprah! For more information about Girlstart, visit their website, www.girlstart.org.

June 2001
June 25 through 29 - Mystery on 22nd Street

July 2001
July 9 through 13 - The Amazing Amusement Park Junior Camp for girls ages 9 and 10 (grades 4 and 5)
July 16 through 20 - Show Me the Money!
July 23 through 27 - Web Diva for Junior High
July 30 through August 3 - The Amazing Amusement Park Junior Camp for girls ages 9 and 10 (grades 4 and 5)

For full descriptions of camp activities and registration information, visit www.girlstart.org/summer.htm or call Amy at 916-4775.

Looking for a good book to read during the lazy summer months? Ophelia has picked out some great ones for you to try, with topics ranging from famous girls of the past to improving our world for girls of the future. A selection of books about girls, with titles appropriate for both parents and daughters, can be found by clicking on the Book People link below. A portion of all the proceeds from online purchases of the featured books will benefit Ophelia. You can also make sure all of your online purchases from Book People benefit us by entering the Book People site through this link. So click, browse, and get ready to read!

"No Way, Baby," a seminar about healthy teen sexuality, is hosted every year by LifeWorks and involves several local agencies, including, this year, Ophelia. This year’s seminar will be held on June 26 at the Huston-Tillotson college campus at 900 Chicon St. Registration is from 12:30 to 1 p.m., and the event is from 1 to 5 p.m. No Way Baby is free and is designed for youth ages 9 to 12, teens ages 13 to 17, and parents of all ages. Attendees will learn about pregnancy prevention, STD prevention, healthy relationships, and parent-child communication about sexuality, and the day will include games, prizes, food and entertainment. For more information contact Kristen Hotopp at 735-2400 or Gilbert Chavez at 735-2108, or pick up a registration form from your school counselor or after- school agency. Parental consent is required for youth and teens to attend.

Did you know that Ophelia is run almost completely by volunteers? Our executive director and executive assistant are our only paid staff, and neither of them work full-time! The majority of Ophelia’s programming, publicity, fundraising, and communication work is carried out by volunteers just like you. We can always use the help of people who like making a difference in girls’ lives. Some of our current opportunities include the following:

• Acting as a liaison with a school that hosts our Speaker Series
• Spreading the word about our programs in the Austin media
• Updating databases and files in the office
• Raising money to support Ophelia’s programs
• Working directly with girls as a Special Programs committee member
• Updating our Web site
• Girls Club leaders

If you’d like to lend your talents to Ophelia, please contact our office at 851-8100 or by email at [email protected].

We also have a few unpaid internships for students. Our upcoming events include a leadership program for girls and several special one-day workshops. If you’d like to work with girls, help your community, and gain valuable experience in program coordination and public relations, email us at [email protected]. We look forward to working with you!

More than 400 women and girls participated in the Junior League of Austin’s event just for girls on Saturday, May 5 at Palmer Auditorium. The day started with the GirlFest Expo, where Ophelia volunteers helped girls make their own "passports" to a healthy, happy adulthood. The Expo was followed by a presentation featuring Dr. Mae C. Jemison, the first woman of color to go into space. Dr. Jemison earned a degree in chemical engineering from Stanford University (which she entered at age 16!) and her doctorate in medicine from Cornell University Medical College. She also served in the Peace Corps for two years in West Africa before becoming an astronaut for NASA and blasting into orbit on the space shuttle Endeavor in 1992. Dr. Jemison speaks throughout the world and is interested in efforts to increase participation of woman and minorities in science and technology.

Ophelia’s Executive Director, Anita Mennucci, was invited by the Junior League to speak about GirlFest on "KXAN First Cast" with Junior League spokeswomen. Because of this opportunity, many more Austin-area girls and parents were able to learn about Ophelia (as evidenced by the calls and emails afterward!). Thanks to the Junior League for giving us this chance to reach girls.

Every year, the Paramount Theatre has a FREE theatre camp for kids. The camp holds auditions, and children are selected to perform in a musical show at the Paramount. This year’s show is Sleeping Beauty, and the camp dates are Monday, July 30 through Saturday, August 4. Children from kindergarten through 12th grade (5-18 years) may audition. Registration forms are available throughout June at the Paramount Theatre box office, and the registration deadline is Friday, June 29. The Paramount can only take the first 500 children, so get those forms in early! Auditions and casting will take place the first day of camp, and the show will be performed twice on the last day of camp. For more information, call 472-5470.

Hospice Austin offers a free therapeutic grief camp for children between the ages of 6 and 17. The camp is open to any child who has lost a loved one due to death, regardless of how the death occurred. The person who died did not need to have been served by Hospice Austin. There are two camps this summer: June 7, 8, 9 and August 6, 7, 8. To register, please call 342-4700. There are some spaces available in each camp.

A Girl Scouts USA/Intel Science Fair Program has limited space available for girls entering 9th or 10th grade. Girls do not have to be Girl Scouts to participate. If you have girls in your troop or family who would be interested in being a part of this once-in- a-lifetime program, from July 9-20, 2001, contact the Girl Scouts at the number below before June 11. Scholarships are available. Contact Kate or Bree at 288-6291, fax 288-6452, or email [email protected].

Hot Topics, a self-esteem building group for teen girls, is gearing up. The group, facilitated by Melissa Vance, MA, LPC, and Sarah Kyle, LMSW, is for girls entering 7th through 12th grades (who, their flyer says, want their lives to ROCK!). The group will be held on Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m., from July 10th through August 14th. Cost is $35 per session. For more information, call 346-8315.

We've got a great opportunity for you to support Ophelia.

Between now and July 2nd, please participate in the Austin Chronicle's "Best of Austin 2001" poll and show your support by voting for Ophelia as your favorite Austin nonprofit group.

Ballots are available on-line at the Austin Chronicle's website at the following web address: http://www.austinchronicle.com/feedback/bestof/.

Under the "Politics and Personalities" ballot; please write-in "The Ophelia Project" as the "Best Nonprofit Group in Austin".

Your support helps us raise awareness about all the free programs that Ophelia offers every year in the Austin area. Our services include:

• more than 50 adolescent family-focused speaker presentations per year,
• teacher trainings,
• parent-daughter workshops and retreats,
• an annual public events featuring nationally-acclaimed speakers,
• a videotape resource library,
• this website featuring an online therapist,
• Girls Clubs - weekly support and education groups at area schools, and
• a new leadership training program for girls launching in the 2002 school year.

Thank you for your support!

This site was last updated on 1/04/2005.

Copyright © GENaustin, Inc. 2001. All rights reserved. GEN, GENaustin, and GENaustin logos used and displayed herein are registered and unregistered trademarks of GENaustin, Inc. All other trademarks, service marks and logos used herein are the property of their respective owners. Email us at office@genaustin.org.